CLOUD | STATE OF MIND

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Not every day is a good day, live anyway. Not all you love will love back, love anyway. Not everyone will tell you the truth, be honest anyway. Not all deals are fair, play fair anyway.

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I saw this quote the other day and it really changed my perspective on how I live my life. It's exhausting being positive and happy all of the time and having people constantly question why or how I do it. How do I love so easily? How do I forgive so easily? Why do I do this and this, when that other person could never give half of that in return? Sometimes, it even feels like people mock me for it. I’ve been called naive, stupid even. I’ve been told countless times that I need to give less. That if I gave less, I would be less hurt in the long run, with any and every situation that I involve myself in.

And I disagree 10,000%

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We all have bad days, but one thing is true; no cloud is so dark that the sun can't shine through

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with living, loving and being genuine. There is nothing wrong with telling the truth and playing fair. There is nothing wrong with swallowing your pride when you have done wrong and asking for forgiveness. And there is nothing wrong with forgiving.

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My heart hurts for people that believe that becoming cold and isolated from accepting or giving love means strength.

My heart hurts for people who confuse being gentle for weak.

My heart hurts for people that can’t comprehend what it means to love unconditionally or what it means to put your own needs aside for ten minutes to try and understand someone else’s dark place. My heart hurts for the people who don’t understand warmth. Or the people who have never felt the warmth. I love and I live with all of the warmth I have and I don’t think twice about it.

WHY?

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Nubivagant (adjective) 
Wandering in the clouds;
moving through the air

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Because my favorite thing in the entire world is making people think.

I love to pick at people’s brains. I like to dig and dig and dig until you see the potential and the good (or lack of) that I can find in every person that I come in contact with. I like reminding people that they are human beings and that they might have been through some fucked up situations and done some fucked up things and may have fucked with the wrong people- but because we are human beings, we can bounce back just as quickly as we have fallen down.

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I like to make people think about their comeback. About their big rebuild. About why they are in the position they are in right now, how they got there, why they no longer want to be there and most importantly… how they plan on moving past it.

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You cannot make people think if you are close minded or closed off. You cannot expect warmth and love if you do not give it.

So, yes. I love frequently and I love hard and I love warmth. Some days, I struggle. Some days I question why I’m not good enough to receive the love I give. But I live through it. I love through it. I love those who call me naive and stupid. I love those who hurt me and lie and steal and cheat. Not because they deserve it, but because I do. I deserve to go to bed at night knowing I have done absolutely everything I could have done. And I deserve that sense of accomplishment that I did not run away out of fear, but walked away knowing that I gave nothing less than what I am capable of.

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This goes with every aspect of your life. Careers, friendships, relationships – whatever.

Give your whole self. Once you’ve given your whole self and there is nothing else you can do, rest easy knowing you were good and honest and kind. You were warm. And continue to be warm. Do not let the people who mock you, make you feel weak. Do not become cold. “Never do the envy or the insecure stuff. Be the hustler, the well-wisher, the go-getter”. I am not sure who said that quote, but live it. Be an example of it.

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Keep loving and living and being honest. One day, it will be reciprocated. Remember that you will not be open for it when it should happen, if you become cold.

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